“They Made Me Feel Like I Was Dead”: Britney Spears Speaks Out for First Time in 12 Years

“They made me feel like I was dead. I want to feel heard so that you can understand the depth and the degree of what was done to me,” Britney Spears bravely said through a shaky and unsteady voice on June 23, 2021 in the opening hearing concerning her conservatorship. This is the first time she has been allowed to speak freely in 12 years and she fears she will suffer intense retaliation from her team for doing so. Here are some things that came to light in her testimony. 

She received forced reproductive treatment

Britney states that she has an IUD inserted into her body as a way to force to her not have another child. She wants it removed, but is not allowed to see a doctor. 

She was forced on Lithium as retaliation for not doing a dance move

During a dance rehearsal her team wanted her to perform a certain dance move. Britney said she didn’t want to do it. It resulted in her team going into a locked room for 45 minutes and when they came out Britney was told her medications were going to change and they relayed that she had been non-compliant. They switched her to Lithium and she said she felt drugged and drunk as a result. 

Britney does not have dementia and was forced to perform

Britney’s team has stated that Britney has dementia and cannot be trusted with responsibility of her estate, yet she details her creating and teaching choreography to her dancers when she was forced to work tours that she didn’t want to work due to extreme exhaustion. Britney stated she takes pride over everything she does and that when she was working with her dancers and producing shows, she wasn’t just good– “I was GREAT,” she said. (Trueeee. We love a queen who knows her value.) 

She is often cruelly punished

When Britney would try to speak up for herself, use her voice or take any ownership of her life she would be retaliated against, bullied and emotionally abused. 

Her therapist abused her

“He, yes, 100% illegally abused me by the treatment he gave me and to be totally honest with you when he passed away I got down on my knees and thanked God,” Britney said. She is forced to go to three meetings a week for her mental health care. If she does not comply she is threatened that she will lose access to her money or the opportunity to leave the premises on vacation. Her meetings were all purposely located in public spaces as a tactic to make her feel shame and embarrassment as well as overrun by paparazzi. “I’m scared of people and I don’t trust people,” Britney trembled. She has to go out of her home to be seen where paparazzi capture her leaving. “It’s embarrassing and demoralizing. I deserve privacy (for my therapy),” Britney said.

Britney pleaded, “I’ve worked since I was 17-years-old. You have to understand how thin that is for me every morning I get up to know that I can’t go anywhere unless I meet people I don’t know every week at an office that is identical to one where the therapist was very abusive to me. I truly believe this conservatorship is abusive.”

She is not allowed to be in her boyfriend’s car/see friends

Britney made friends who live near her after doing AA for years. She is not allowed to see them and her boyfriend is unable to drive her anywhere. 

She has been forcefully silenced

“I’m not allowed to expose the people who did this to me,” Britney said. “My own family will do interviews and talking about the situation and making me feel so stupid and I’m not allowed to say one thing…I have a right to use my voice and stick up for myself.”

“I just want my life back. I make a living for other people and am being told I’m not good enough, but I’m great at what I do and I allow these people to control what I do and this is enough,” she said.

She suffers from Cleithrophobia or “Trapped Phobia”

After being forced into a rehab facility for four months, Britney states she now suffers from “trapped phobia” from being stuck in a small room for that duration of time without being allowed to leave. 

She wants the conservatorship to end without evaluation

Britney stated there are several conservatorships that end without evaluation unless a family member speaks up stating otherwise and that she would not be surprised if someone in her family contested it because they’ve been making money off of her for 13 years claiming that they need to “help her”. “They need to be reminded that they actually work for me,” Britney said. (Yessss, girl.)

“I shouldn’t be in a conservatorship if I can work and provide money and pay other people.It makes no sense. The laws need to change. What state allows people to own another person and their account and their money and threaten them,” Britney boldly and firmly stated.

She wants a family and is not allowed to have one

Britney stated she wants to get married and have a baby with her partner, but she is not allowed. “I’m tired of feeling alone. I deserve to have the same rights as anybody. I deserve to have a child, a family.”

Britney fans all over are proud to see their beloved queen and icon stand up for herself for the first time. Even while scared and with a trembling voice, Britney detailed her abuse and made the most out of the speaking time she was given knowing this could be her only shot to expose people who are abusing her and are taking advantage of her estate. She also boldly spoke out while knowing that the result may not be in her favor and she may not get her freedom back. The strength and courage this takes to come forward knowing you could be retaliated against as soon as you stop speaking is tremendous. See below for the full transcript. However you may want to hurry. It could get taken down since it was leaked. 

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